Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Sex and Sprituality

(The following is from an email conversation I have had with a person concerning sex and spirituality and how some people might want to take advantage of others by saying a person can only really be spiritual if a relationship is sexual.)

To me in the spirit world there is no sex or sexes. This is exemplified in different religions at times but a good example is in the bible where a woman asks Jesus whose wife she will be if she has been married to many people. Jesus tells her that in Heavan there are not marriages or sexes. Therefore what happens here on earth concerning sex only effects the spirit in the same way anything else that was good or bad would. I mean it like this. If someone has a non-sexual relationship, any kind of relationship, and it is unhealthy then maybe his or her spirit will be hurt. If someone has a sexual relationship and it is unhealthy then also his or her spirit will be hurt. The opposite is also true that healthy sexual relationships can have positive spiritual consequences and healthy non-sexual relationships can have positive spiritual consequences.

But in a world of the spirit where the nature of reality is so much different than it is here, there are neither sexes nor sex and therefore sex in and of itself has no real direct effect to what happens in the spirit world. Only how the sex was engaged in has a spiritual result just like any other activity say like playing baseball, taking a walk on the beach, or talking to someone on the phone.

As for having relationships without having sex because some people will try to explain to others that they can not have a good “relationship” with out having sex. Of course we can. I have had hundreds of relationships with hundreds of people of different ages, sexes, races, and religions but hardly any of these have with a sexual partner. If I had to have sex with everyone I know that would really suck. When a person says that they can not have a good “relationship” with out sex, what they are really saying is “sexual relationship” and that is the goal of their interaction.

Sex may be used though to enhance a relationship or hurt it. In a case if a person said no and the other still persists, the persistence would cause damage whether or not actions are followed through with. If a person doesn't want to, and doesn't feel like it, I gather bad things would happen as a result if a person went through with the sex.

Just like sex can be used to enhance or hurt relationships, it may also be used to enhance or hurt spirituality. It depends on how a person engages it and what it is being done. As for a person wanting to have sex but not reach climax as some religions teach; that is a common idea and for me one that is plain common lies. (sorry if this offends anyone) The thing is that sex in many ways meant to bring a person to orgasm although not a requirement. That is the natural course of it. If a person’s friends wants to be physically close but not reach climax, just hold their hand. I am sure you can do that for more than long enough. :-) For me positive spirituality enhanced by sex would be enhanced by doing what people should do with any type of spiritual activity which is practice love. Now a person might also practice breathing to gain rhythm and a solid foundation of self. And yes develop spiritual discipline in some way if they were able to refrain from orgasm. If a person is wanting spiritual discipline there are other ways, some of which are arguably better but definitely better for a person because now the person is not being abused by another. I suggest if a person’s friend does not have a sex partner a far better practice to develop discipline would be to take up fasting. (oh wait that doesn't sound so fun, now does it).


Anonymous s said...

Haven't read this one before. I absolutely agree with your thought that people can establish satisfying relationships without having sex. Not that people shouldn't have sex to have a true spiritual encounter but that sex is something comes along rather naturally as a way of sharing each other just like playing sports together, taking a walk or talking with each other. It's not always the case for many people and even to me to have sex after meeting somebody who is really spiritaully compatibel with myself(herself, or himself), but sometimes people meet someone like that through getting to know a person after or before having sex with. I guess it doesn't matter when people have sex in building a relationship or whether they have sex or not at all. Spiritual exchange is much more diffucult than having a good sex, I think. Sometimes, People, at least I, feel like that I had a true communication with a person after having a good sex. But without a spritual, emotional bond bewteen two persons, that feeling doesn't last not longer than a transient moment. To me, the difficult thing to figure out is how to bring myself out and help the other person to bring him out as well to experience each other. I used to think that everybody is all alone. But it's not my truth anymore. There must be a way that I need to know to get a hang of how to make spiritual exchnage with people. Or it may be possible only with god or through god. I don't know. This kind of topics always end up messing up my head with no right answer. Guess that's how I learn and grow up.

3:19 PM  
Blogger Bar Bar A said...

Just read this but have to process it a bit before I respond. For the most part I agree with you but I have to think about one thing you said (I am not not a quick thinker...I'm a processor)>

7:18 PM  

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